You know how your stomach feels when you know the other shoe is about to drop. Like when things have been going well for a really long time, or you have an important meeting you can't miss, or your partner is out of town and you're doing double (honestly, triple) duty and then the shit hits the fan.
Everyone gets sick, or your oldest just couldn't go to school because his wrist really hurts and it's been hurting FOREVER but today is the first day he's told you about it, and you had a full day planned and if you let him stay home today are you setting a precedent for how this will go for the rest of his life and you'll never get anything done again and the to-do list will pile up forever and ever until it finally crushes you and while you're being crushed you hear a faint voice yell 'mom, I'm hungry'.
Yeah, I think you know what I mean. Well, yeah this is always happening, because life is always happening, the road goes up and goes down, the ocean goes in and it goes out. And this is happening to everyone, everywhere, all at once.
It can be really easy to think that we are the only ones dealing with some kind of kid-induced cruel and unusual punishment, but it's just not true. Yes, it probably feels like it is happening all the time, especially with the more kiddos/dogs/responsibilities you have, you'll feel that squeeze when you're trying to get it all done between the chaos.
That's what it feels like in your stomach, a squeezing, like everyone is trying to get the last drop of productivity or joy out of you by wrecking your day.
Listen to those signals. Our body is full of signals, I'll say this a lot, hunger, thirst, bathroom, sleep. You know how to deal with those ones, even if you ignore them most of the time. But when we feel the squeeze, the tightness, a lot of times we push through that, ignore it, 'it's just in my head', 'I just have to get this done and then it will go away', but really we need to do the opposite.
When we feel that squeeze we need to acknowledge that feeling. Just stop, drop, and roll.... with the punches so to speak. When we get that feeling it's when we're feeling powerless.
Our personal magic comes from stopping, knowing we are being squeezed by outside forces and saying, 'Yeah this sucks and I still have to do whatever the thing is', or 'If I can't do the thing it'll be ok because if the thing is really important it will get done whenever the time is right.'
If you are a primary parent you often feel like you are holding the entire world on your shoulders and if you stumble you will fall and the whole world and everyone you surround yourself with will be crushed too - remember how we all related to Louisa from Encanto a few years ago?
Just acknowledging the squeeze is a magic power in itself. Knowing that squeeze isn't happening just to you right now, boom, level 2. Understanding that squeeze and that shitty situation isn't happening to you on purpose, level 3. Taking 3 really deep breaths, putting on some music, taking a drink of water to think for a minute, level 4, 5, and 6.
Now the advanced mode, and honestly I wouldn't even try this until you get really good at those first 6 levels, but for my overachievers here is where we start to grow. Once you charge through level 6 and you might be feeling a little less volatile, try to think about how this situation could suck less, even if it's just a little bit.
Here are some ideas:
--> Have a special outfit or loungewear you ONLY wear on these kinds of days.
--> Make a playlist for these days that are going to make you happy while you rearrange all the things you have to do.
--> Have a backup fancy drink for these days, not day drinking (necessarily) but add whipped cream to your coffee that day or a squirt of chocolate syrup, something you wouldn't actually add just to make yourself happy.
Ok let's work with that for a while and then we can get a deep dive into why those actions are magic and why you are a powerful being in your realm.
I'd love to hear if there are some situations you're struggling with. In these past few years I probably have put myself in a tight fit bubble so if you have questions or need help finding the magic in your mundane, then comment or email me and we'll dig into it!
